Does anybody else feel like they're stuck in the twilight zone?
During a time of social distancing, I've learned a lot about myself, and even more about my marriage. As life pauses, it's given me a change to regroup and turn towards personal growth within myself and my marriage.
Rare sighting in 2020, Hunter and I enjoying a day off from work.
Appreciate the little things
Sure we still have access to social media, but with places of social gatherings learning to navigate the new norm, most of our day is spent at work and at home. For me, life hasn't slowed down, I'm still going 100mph BUT(!) on the rare occasion I have a day off, the slowed down pace has given me a chance to catch my breath. A lot has happened and changed in my career within the past four months, that it's forced me to look at life from a different perspective, and appreciate the finer things. Something as simple as a day off work, or even just going on a walk with my dogs, a lot of things I did/still do, have new meaning.
I've confessed, I'm a workaholic
Nothing I didn't already know, but WOW how much Hunter and I both work, without much complaint is beyond me. If you didn't know, I was furloughed/later laid off from my job in March, you can read more about it here. Fast forward, I'm now juggling two jobs, Hunter three jobs (mind you, he still works his full time job) and running on lots of water. It's a lot... I work near 60 hours a week, and Hunter nearly 70 hours, there are days I cry, and weeks that I want to walk away, BUT(!) it's life at the moment. We've been blessed to have weathered the storm thus far without having to touch our savings, and with the uncertainty in the world, we decided to buckle down, and work our a** off and continue saving until we can't no more.
Discipline is important
Neither of us are working from home, but we've still have had to rely on self discipline. There are so many ways to get distracted, and for two confessed workaholics we've had to learn to leave work 'at work.' Just because we're working more hours than ever, doesn't mean we can let things at home go unnoticed. We still have to make time for our dogs, mow the yard, maintain our landscape, water the plants, do laundry, go to the grocery, all those things don't stop just because we're working. Not to mention, self care... I have to get in a good sweat everyday, or it's hard for me to sleep. It makes me feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally... all the feels. Even if that means, waking up at 6am just to get in a workout.
I can live on less
Of course we've adjusted our spending habits, who hasn't during this pandemic. For us, we've been focusing on saving now more than ever. Honestly, our spending habits haven't changed much... we've just been more aware of we're buying, and asking ourselves do we 'actually' need it. It's been good for us, pandemic or no pandemic it's made us more frugal with how we spend our money.
My drive to succeed, is not affected by obstacles.
I hope I hit the lowest of lows in my career, e-v-e-r and hope I never have to experience a furlough/lay off ever again. Even at my lowest, I used my drive to create the life I want to live. It's hard, because I feel it's a setback in my career, and with that comes a loss of opportunities, but I've gained much more insight from perseverance. I have shown myself that I can achieve much more than I ever thought was possible, because of my willingness to succeed. I've persevered, it's just a matter of believing in yourself and keeping the end goal in mind.
Find the positive in each day.
Eating dinner, and going to bed nearly every night by myself is definitely the biggest downfall to a hustling marriage. It definitely makes finding the positive in each day hard, especially considering I was watching the news every morning and night, and was feeling quite low in the light of the situation in the world today. I stopped, I no longer watch the news, I figured if it's that important I will hear about it one way or another. During these times, I need something to look forward to and something to keep me going. Whether it's an early evening off work, long walk with my dogs, eating ice cream in bed, or Hunter taking a personal day... finding or doing something positive each day goes along way, mentally. Also, make plans! If you know you have a day off or an early evening home, do something fun for yourself or with your significant other.
Pray, and pray hard.
I can put up a good front, and I hide my emotions well, often too well. I know that about myself, and because of that I carry a lot of added weight and stress on my shoulders. It's not going to change (even through quarantine), I've always been that way. While I am so quick to act and voice my opinion if I disagree with someone/something, BUT(!) when it comes to the nit and gritty part of my life, I don't share those emotions easily. Hence, why I've started a prayer journal. I've always prayed, I pray in my head every morning and every night. On the rare occasion, sometimes Hunter and I will pray out loud in bed, but more often than not, it's a prayer running through my head. However, recently I've been writing down my prayers each night, and MY GOODNESS it feels so good.
More often than not, I find myself asking what good has happened in 2020? It's certainly not the year for me (or so my self pity feels that way) and may not be the year for you, BUT(!) life is what you make it.